Fierce Females: Slut-Shaming on The Bachelorette

Kaitlyn Bristowe

“A slut is someone, usually a woman, who’s stepped outside of the very narrow lane that good girls are supposed to stay within. Sluts are loud. We’re messy. We don’t behave. In fact, the original definition of “slut” meant “untidy woman.” But since we live in a world that relies on women to be tidy in all ways, to be quiet and obedient and agreeable and available (but never aggressive), those of us who colour outside of the lines get called sluts. And that word is meant to keep us in line.”

― Jaclyn Friedman, feminist, writer and activist

So let’s talk about The Bachelorette, yes I watch The Bachelorette, The Bachelor and the Bachelor Pad. I keep my life low on drama so I need to get it somewhere!

The first episode The Bachelorette Season 11 aired on May 18. This season was met with mixed emotions as to how it was all going down. There were two favourites for this season Kaitlyn, a dance instructor from British Columbia and Britt a waitress from California.

In the end the show decided to have both of them, they would meet the 25 men and then they would pick who they wanted to remain for the duration of the season. This caused quite a stir on social media with fans and the Bachelor/Bachelorette Alum. Former bachelor Sean Lowe who found his wife on the show wrote a blog on why he thought this was a bad move for the new season.

“It’s downright degrading for the women – for the two chosen and the women watching at home. This move transfers the power back to the men on the show specifically designed for the women.  As one tweet said, ‘Once again, you’ll have women competing for the attention of men.'”

– Sean Lowe

Alas, this season was highly anticipated by fans. After 2 hours of drama on Monday and an additional hour on Tuesday, “Bachelor Nation” was getting vocal.

It was eventually revealed that the men decided on Kaitlyn. She was “the luckiest girl in the world” and now had some time to sit down and get to know the guys. She had to let a few of the men go at the end but it was a pretty tame show until the “bomb” dropped when they showed the season preview.

Now, I put bomb with quotations because it really shouldn’t have been a big a deal. In the preview it seems as though Kaitlyn has sex with one of the men, she is then seen talking to the men saying, “we had sex”. Now whether this is just a good editing job to make the season look more dramatic than it is or it actually happened it DOESN’T MATTER. The show did a good job of making Kaitlyn look like a villain for doing what many women do when they are dating, have sex.

So because show opened the slut-shaming door judgements shall follow. Now, people are entitled to their opinions but to slander someones name all over the internet is disgusting especially when you are passing judgement on someone you don’t know.

All you britt haters are going to wish it was her as the bachelorette instead of trashy kaitlyn by the end of the season when you find out what happens. Britt is so classy. I can’t stand kaitlyn and her potty mouth. She’s looking to be comedian, for a hook up and a good time. Not marriage material and someone you bring home to mama. I would much rather watch britt’s gorgeous face than constant licking teeth and trashy tattoos. Britt is classy and was actually looking for love. Big mistake abc! At least britt ends up the real winner!

– Ashley Hightower via Facebook

Comments like the above are juvenile they are setting us back instead of supporting and helping us grow stronger as a gender. Have a friendly debate or talk about it with your friends that agree with you. We live in a free country and you are allowed to disagree, have your own opinion and not support her actions but just because it’s on national television does not make it your business.

Everyone is jumping to conclusions and saying horrible things about someone they don’t know when we have no clue what the context is, or what happened. I’m ultimately disgusted with how people reacted but I am glad there was a significant number of people that not only called out the individuals for slut-shaming but also the show itself.


 
So she didn’t wait until the sanctioned “sex time” in the fantasy suite, who cares? We all have to remember that she is a human being and should get the same respect as any other human being regardless of what she does or doesn’t do in the bedroom. I commend her for being real, honest and owning it.

If anyone is still confused on how to not slut-shame please read “How Not To Slut-Shame A Woman” via Huffington Post.

Fierce Females: Slut-Shaming on The Bachelorette

Fierce Females: Sirissa

Sirissa

What is it that empowers you most?
My children’s hugs for sure!

What is it that you love most about yourself?
That I’m never afraid to tell it like it is; but also that I’m never afraid to just TRY…

What makes you feel most beautiful?
When I see myself in my children I know I’m beautiful.

Who is your biggest role model and why?
My eldest daughter is my role model. She exudes calm and I honestly one of the kindest 15 year old I know. She actually listens, and she is humble.

Who are your favourite cultural heroines and why?
Carrie Best. I’ve always been a writer and my first love is Journalism. She was the first black Canadian woman to start a newspaper. She was extremely brave.

 

“When I see myself in my children I know I’m beautiful.”

 

If you could pick one fictional female character to be for a day who would it be and why?
I would be Fish Mooney of Gotham. She is a take no prisoners type of woman. She is tough but sexy and fair.

What is your biggest life goal?
Own my own TV network.

What is your biggest accomplishment?
My children-bar none

What is your favourite quote?
“This is my face… Deal with it!” – The Women

If you could tell your 12-year-old self one thing what would it be?
Study!!! Study!!!

What does feminism mean to you?
It means teaching my girls that they are not fighting for equality they are fighting for the right to simply BE…

Sirissa is a Communications Specialist and Magazine Editor for SKNteen Experience in Charlestown, Saint Kitts and Nevis.
Connect with Sirissa
: Facebook and Twitter

Fierce Females: Sirissa

10 Social Media Tips from a Newbie

The Creative Communications program taught me so much about social media and I’ve had the opportunity to use those skills in a working environment over the last few months. I have been so lucky to work at Manitoba Theatre Centre in the marketing department and I’ve been very involved in social media for MTC. Over the next couple of months I am working under the title of Social Media Coordinator for the Winnipeg Fringe Theatre Festival.

I have had success and a few mistakes along the way but the important part is being proud of your successes and learning from your mistakes. I have listed 10 Social Media Tips (and hints) for Facebook and Twitter below, I hope it’s helpful.

  1. Search for yourself: Creating an account isn’t much use if no one can find you so search for yourself to make sure your profile is visible.
  2. Interact: Social media is about two-way dialogue so interact with those you follow and those who follow and interact with you.
  3. Character limit: The Twitter character limit is 140, but 125 is ideal. It allows room for a retweet and a comment.
  4. Public replies: When you are conversing with one or more individuals via Twitter the conversation is only visible to those following all parties. If you would like all your followers to be able to view all of your interactions just place a period directly in front of the @ symbol. This tricks Twitter into thinking it is not a reply and therefore everyone following you can view it. (ex. “.@bmay4real”)
  5. Retweet: Retweeting valuable tweets is a form of interaction and it keeps you active with those you follow. Those you retweet are likely to check out your profile and maybe retweet you.
  6. Don’t spam: Limit your daily tweets, and try to make them visual and/or valuable to your audience. Tweet maximum of once an hour (that is only, I repeat ONLY if you have valuable information) more than that and unfollows are likely in your future. Facebook posts are not as easily lost in a newsfeed so post a maximum of 3 times daily.
  7. Use relevant hashtags: Hashtags allow everyone using that same hashtag to have their tweets show up in one place. When the hashtag is clicked on your tweet will show up in that hashtag feed. If a trending hashtag is relevant to something you are promoting or talking about use the hashtag and it could give whatever you are promoting and/or talking about more exposure. Also if you are trying to promote something using a hashtag in all of your promotional tweets and get others to do the same, it will create buzz around your promotion if you can get it trending.
  8. Tag people/organizations relevant to your post: When making a blog post or a promotional post on Facebook or Twitter remember to tag the relevant parties. If you are promoting a blog post about your favourite blogger remember to tag @bmay4real on Twitter and @Brittany May on Facebook so they will get notified of your post. This worked for me when I tagged Cathy Marie Buchanan, author of The Painted Girls, when tweeting about my blog post “Books: The Painted Girls” she read my post and even left a comment on my blog. It pays to tag.
  9. Different platforms, different messages: If you are on both Facebook and Twitter make sure each post has the same messaging but says it in a different way. Your Facebook likers and Twitter followers are different audiences so cater your messaging to each platform. Chances are many people follow you on both platforms and they won’t want to read the exact same message twice so get creative.
  10. Creative messaging: On Twitter you have 140 characters (or 125 as said above) to get your message across, you can attach images, videos or articles but they only show up as links in a Twitter feed so your language has to have a hook to get readers to click. Facebook is much more visual because photos show up right in the feed, you can view videos right in the post and with links you are able to choose a thumbnail image. On Facebook you can use more words if you have to but if you can say it with a picture that’s best.

PROOF, PROOF, PROOF
Learned this one the hard way… A few times. People are more likely to read and respond to a grammatically correct and well written tweet with correct spelling. Check before you Tweet!

10 Social Media Tips from a Newbie